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whatif_auTitle: 'Girls' Night'
Author:but_can_i_be_trusted
Fandom: Friends
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Notes: Crossposted togenprompt_bingo
Summary: "Adventure isn't sexy," Phoebe asked. "Being chased by treasure-guarding monsters isn't sexy?"
By the time the third unspeakable horror had chased them, Girls' Night was beginning to get old.
Rachel leaned wearily against a damp brick wall, trembling from the exertion. Her new jeans were a tattered mess, her hair was in tangles, and she was feeling far from fashionable. Beside her, Monica was doubled over, panting for breath.
Only Phoebe looked to truly be in her element. Here, in the dim of a series of catacombs that the other two had scarcely suspected could lie beneath the city, she looked strong and fearless. As though she belonged down here.
She beamed at the other two. "Well? I promised you an exciting night. Did I deliver?"
"Are you out of your mind," Rachel demanded. "This is 'Girls' Night', to you?! We couldn't just..." She gestured vaguely, thinking as well as the adrenaline coursing through her system would allow. "We couldn't stay in and watch sappy, romantic movies while binging on dark chocolate and popcorn?!"
"Hey, I can deliver on that, too." Phoebe rummaged in her bag, pulling out two energy bars. "There's no popcorn, but there's a dark chocolate coating," she said, handing them out. "Mon, you're having a good time, right?"
Monica glared daggers at her as she scarfed down her bar. "No, I am not having a 'good time'," she shouted, once she'd swallowed it down. "This is one of the worst times I've ever had!"
"Well, if you two didn't want to come, then you shouldn't have agreed to it."
Thunderstruck, Rachel and Monica exchanged stares.
"We didn't agree," Monica protested. "You barged into our apartment, screamed, 'Girls' Night' at the top of your lungs, grabbed us each by the wrist, and dragged us out here!"
"Wherever the hell here is," Rachel put in. "And, wherever 'here' is, it's friggin' terrifying! What's with all the monsters?! And I thought you said there'd be treasure. Diamonds, gold, something sexy."
"Adventure isn't sexy," Phoebe asked. "Being chased by treasure-guarding monsters isn't sexy?"
"No," they both shouted.
She humphed indignantly. "Well, it sure looks sexy in the movies."
"Only if you're Indiana Jooohhhhhh, my God, what is that," Rachel screamed. She and Monica clung to each other as a large, scaly, hairy, vaguely humanoid beast emerged from around the bend, right behind Phoebe. "Keep your treasure; just let us live!"
"I'll grind your bones," it roared back. "I'll tear you limb fro--"
"Hey!" Phoebe spun to face the creature, pointing a finger into the mass that passed for its face. "You back off! You may think you're tough, but I could kick your ass from here to Toronto!"
Nervously, the creature backed off. "Okay; geez. I'm sorry, already," it grumbled. It tried to smile, though the effect was none too reassuring. "I wasn't really gonna eat you ladies, though. No hard feelings, right?"
"Not..." Monica swallowed. "Not if you can tell us how to get out of this place. Our friend, here," she added, motioning to Phoebe, "has got us good and lost."
"We're not lost," Phoebe insisted. "I know exactly where we are! Roughly," she added, almost under her breath.
Monica rolled her eyes. "See what I mean?"
The monster man laughed. "Yeah; I get the idea. Happens all the time." It looked around, nodding toward a door. "You're actually not too far from the subway. Just go through that door, and you'll end up in the service corridor. You'll find your way back up to street level pretty quickly. If anyone sees you, just tell them that you're tourists who got taken in and mugged by a phony tour guide. They'll buy it."
"Thanks," Rachel called as the beast moved on. "Thank God he was nice."
"I never thought anyone so scary could be so helpful," Monica agreed as they headed to the door. "And, Pheebs, from now on, Rachel and I are in charge of Girls' Night."
"Fine," Phoebe sighed. "If you want to have a boring time, then that's up to y--"
Rachel turned, pointing a finger under her nose. "You. Stop. Talking!"
Author:
but_can_i_be_trustedFandom: Friends
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Notes: Crossposted to
genprompt_bingoSummary: "Adventure isn't sexy," Phoebe asked. "Being chased by treasure-guarding monsters isn't sexy?"
By the time the third unspeakable horror had chased them, Girls' Night was beginning to get old.
Rachel leaned wearily against a damp brick wall, trembling from the exertion. Her new jeans were a tattered mess, her hair was in tangles, and she was feeling far from fashionable. Beside her, Monica was doubled over, panting for breath.
Only Phoebe looked to truly be in her element. Here, in the dim of a series of catacombs that the other two had scarcely suspected could lie beneath the city, she looked strong and fearless. As though she belonged down here.
She beamed at the other two. "Well? I promised you an exciting night. Did I deliver?"
"Are you out of your mind," Rachel demanded. "This is 'Girls' Night', to you?! We couldn't just..." She gestured vaguely, thinking as well as the adrenaline coursing through her system would allow. "We couldn't stay in and watch sappy, romantic movies while binging on dark chocolate and popcorn?!"
"Hey, I can deliver on that, too." Phoebe rummaged in her bag, pulling out two energy bars. "There's no popcorn, but there's a dark chocolate coating," she said, handing them out. "Mon, you're having a good time, right?"
Monica glared daggers at her as she scarfed down her bar. "No, I am not having a 'good time'," she shouted, once she'd swallowed it down. "This is one of the worst times I've ever had!"
"Well, if you two didn't want to come, then you shouldn't have agreed to it."
Thunderstruck, Rachel and Monica exchanged stares.
"We didn't agree," Monica protested. "You barged into our apartment, screamed, 'Girls' Night' at the top of your lungs, grabbed us each by the wrist, and dragged us out here!"
"Wherever the hell here is," Rachel put in. "And, wherever 'here' is, it's friggin' terrifying! What's with all the monsters?! And I thought you said there'd be treasure. Diamonds, gold, something sexy."
"Adventure isn't sexy," Phoebe asked. "Being chased by treasure-guarding monsters isn't sexy?"
"No," they both shouted.
She humphed indignantly. "Well, it sure looks sexy in the movies."
"Only if you're Indiana Jooohhhhhh, my God, what is that," Rachel screamed. She and Monica clung to each other as a large, scaly, hairy, vaguely humanoid beast emerged from around the bend, right behind Phoebe. "Keep your treasure; just let us live!"
"I'll grind your bones," it roared back. "I'll tear you limb fro--"
"Hey!" Phoebe spun to face the creature, pointing a finger into the mass that passed for its face. "You back off! You may think you're tough, but I could kick your ass from here to Toronto!"
Nervously, the creature backed off. "Okay; geez. I'm sorry, already," it grumbled. It tried to smile, though the effect was none too reassuring. "I wasn't really gonna eat you ladies, though. No hard feelings, right?"
"Not..." Monica swallowed. "Not if you can tell us how to get out of this place. Our friend, here," she added, motioning to Phoebe, "has got us good and lost."
"We're not lost," Phoebe insisted. "I know exactly where we are! Roughly," she added, almost under her breath.
Monica rolled her eyes. "See what I mean?"
The monster man laughed. "Yeah; I get the idea. Happens all the time." It looked around, nodding toward a door. "You're actually not too far from the subway. Just go through that door, and you'll end up in the service corridor. You'll find your way back up to street level pretty quickly. If anyone sees you, just tell them that you're tourists who got taken in and mugged by a phony tour guide. They'll buy it."
"Thanks," Rachel called as the beast moved on. "Thank God he was nice."
"I never thought anyone so scary could be so helpful," Monica agreed as they headed to the door. "And, Pheebs, from now on, Rachel and I are in charge of Girls' Night."
"Fine," Phoebe sighed. "If you want to have a boring time, then that's up to y--"
Rachel turned, pointing a finger under her nose. "You. Stop. Talking!"
